For some time now, I’ve wanted to get closer to owning a domain that is more in line with my online identity.  As someone who’s taken to not carrying business cards as often as I should have, I find myself in need of a place to send people so they can grab my information and maybe find out a little more about me.

Recently, I’ve been telling people to simply search for “gregarious” since I’m the first, non-dictionary listing there.  Most of the time, I encounter someone on Twitter and I’ll simply tell them to “follow gregarious” but that doesn’t cover enough of the bases.

So today, I’m happy to put my new home online, in its infancy: http://gregario.us

Yesterday was a fun day on Twitter.  The #ramday meme emerged early in the day and had many baffled throughout.  #ramday stands for Random About Me Day and I enjoyed sharing a bunch of little tidbits about myself it usually takes a few drinks to coax out of me.

I thought I would collect them here:

• I forged dozens of fake notes granting me ealrly leave during Jr year of HS. Issued by the teacher who’s very class I was cutting
• things I’ve learned to impress a girl: 3D rendering, package design, bash scripting – who am I kidding, everything is a weapon :)
• I’m afraid of the open waters, esp when you can’t see the bottom
• I weighed 3lbs 6oz when born and was extracted when my heartbeat disappeared. Spent 45 days in the incubator cooking.
• I learned calligraphy after realizing my handwriting had gone to total shiite. Now I suck at multiple forms of writing.
• I “studied” Art History in London one winter.. missed half my classes due to the 19-year-old drinking limit (snakebites!)
• I designed covers for all my major papers in college – it’s how I learned photoshop
• I once was asked by a professor to re-write a test since she couldn’t read it She let me take it home to do it
• I worked on material for a standup skit for 6 months then chickened out the performance
• I once broke two ribs while bench pressing without a spotter – it was dumbells from then onwards
• I once passed out from eating super spicy buffalo wings (the rum didn’t help either)
• My first internet gig was for iVillage/About Work as a HTML/Javascript developer – I didn’t know JS at the time
• I was accepted to 3 medical schools but decided otherwise. My parents, both entrepreneurs, were surprised I did the same as them.
• I am the second youngest of 49 first cousins – we’ve never all been in the same place at the same time.
• I had a 4.0 in college all the way to Senior Year, then had a serious GF and that’s history
• I lost my license when 18 for 3 speeding tickets in 18 months. Drove 5 years not knowing it was lost – no tickets
• I often confuse worst and worse, much to @rgujral entertainment
• I received a scholarship from the sociology department when graduating (biggest nerd) and forgot about the ceremony – got the check
• My proudest grade in college: the only A (out of 400 peeps) in ‘Hinduism, Buddhism & Taoism”
• I opted out of my senior year of HS and went to college instead – I still had to take gym to graduate though
• I failed my road test the first time around. I still was one of the first to drive to school – liberating
• i have the bestest friends in the world, even the ones that I can’t name or remember
• This is NOT the most embarrassing video of me: http://tinyurl.com/5ca6w9
• The name Gregarious was given to me by my good friend @jamesjyu
• I’ve never had a full-time job and I love it.
• I started my first enterprise in 3rd grade – designing desk signs for my classmates – $5 a pop.
• On training: I ran a 5:58 mile in Junior High. I was on the Ski Team in HS. I used to bench 315lbs, not I weight it (j/k).
• I slept in my office on 14th street (1997ish) for 3 years, the gym was my shower. Startup life, FTW!
• I have 5 best friends, each from different periods of my life. All guys.
• The saddest days in my life: Nov 4 2007, Mar 5 2005, May 18 1999
• I have 5 scars on my face, 3 from childhood, 2 I can’t account for – but hey ,scars are the new tattoos

The full list is here.

The middle. An unfortunate moniker for a soldier with such potential. The middle, defined solely as being equidistant from extremes, is a victim of its on success. Over time, the term the middle has more closely aligned itself with the brothers of length versus the sisters of mass. Let me explain. In general, When we think of the middle we presume its orientation somewhere between the beginning and the middle – hence the expressions “the middle child” and “stuck in the middle”.

Truth be told, the middle is far more an indicator of mass, and more importantly of momentum, than anything else – especially when applied to circumstances of life.

Consider, is anything ever the measure of half of its length when compared to life. Are you half the person you will be at 13 as when you are 26. According to most, men are still 13 at 25 and women are something beyond that. Perhaps that’s conversely true as well,, but regardless, years are no measure for our lives.

In fact, the “middle” in life is adulthood – guarded by the extremes of infancy and old age (an ironic syllable for infancy itself). It is our rush (“act your age”) to the middle or our retreat (“will you just grow up”) that more naturally defines our position – GPSed by the norms of both our parents and peers.

Indeed, today I find myself perplexed and intrigued by the middle. Pursuit of the middle embodies most of our central beliefs – was it coincidence the Buddha guided us to the way of the middle or that Frost wandered the path less chosen? Is not the modern definition of diplomacy moderation, restraint – the middle?

In truth the middle is the dance of the ballerina, transplanted atop the head of a pin. No more magnificent is her balance, regardless of topology, is our own fight with this balance in life. They say when you fear heights and find yourself in positions of altitude, “don’t look down”.

Which brings me to my notion of middleful. Surely it is a term you won’t find in the dictionary, but naturally thy does not preclude you from its nature of influence.

Middlefullness is the proclivity of a system to pursue equilibrium. It is our nature to pursue the middle. This may strike you as odd, considering human nature pushes us to survive and capitalism pushes us to win. Truthfully, most people find life at the extreme quite difficult to maintain – not because of finances, influence, or willingness but instead to the natural inclination to “second-guess” our achievements and the “markets” inclination to flow.

Middlefullness, I believe, is what many pursue in life, and fortunately, many are able to achieve in their own pursuits and rationalizations.

You have received this short tirade on the matter of middlefullness becauseI find myself grabbing for the comfort of the buoy that floats between destiny and despair. You read this as I travel a voyage lined with thorns where I once say honeysuckles. I don’t deny their existence (the glass is half full) nor do I deny the prickly passage to the other side (the glass is half empty).

You receive this message because tomorrow was never more certain than yesterday and only now was more aware of that truth. You receive this because an infant sees all but knows not what to do with it.

You receive this because yesterday never was tomorrow – but we’re still here today.

My apologies for the lack of posts here in the last week or so – sometimes life just gets in the way.  We’ve been very busy at Blue Whale Labs in the last few weeks and there seems to be more and more of that in the pipeline.

At the same time, I’ve had to slow my time out at the industry events for more than a few reasons:

1. Frankly, I’m sorta geeked out for the time being.  I’ve been to just so many of these things in the last 6 months that you quickly start to know most everyone in the room (or someone’s with someone you know).  There’s a sense of diminishing returns when this starts to happen and you need to figure out if you get out of it as much as it takes to participate.
2. I’m busy as all heck lately with administrative and client work and it’s been increasingly hard to peel away from the computer for those and many more reasons.
3. I’m tired as all sin.   Maybe I just partied too much last year, but I find myself tired earlier in the day and rising at insanely early times as well.

This week, Stowe and I are hard at work developing a specification for a client (that we can’t name just yet).  Next week, I will be in New York visiting with family and doing the finishing touches on our project work.  The week after that, we’ll present the work and I leave immediately for India to meet with our development team.

Wow. I won’t be back in San Francisco until the middle of February.  That’s sorta nuts.

technorati tags:gregarious+narain

I know I’ve published my look forward for the New Year, but I’ve neglected to really look backwards much. It’s ironic, and perhaps one of the most difficult things in life, to really see what you’ve done and what you’ve become.

There have been nearly 32 years in my life, so far – last year commands special attention simply for the truly wide range of emotions and experiences that I had. I’ll spare the bloody details, since they are simply too personal and not something I necessarily want to air in the public.

If there was a word for last year, it would be survival. The irony of a word like survival is that it implies a struggle; some friction. I’ve had plenty of that for sure. In reality, we have to survive not just the good times, but the bad. We have to learn how to bottle the most wonderful of moments so we can harness them when we’re the most downtrodden. At the same time, we need to always remember the lows we experience and hold them close to our heart as well – we need them to balance out our lives.

My new life here, well, it’s hard for most to believe – sometimes it’s even hard for me to believe just what I’ve become. Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to reflect more on what I left behind. I’ve had the chance to talk to family, friends, and my most loved ones. I’ve had a chance to see how different I am. I’ve had a chance to see what I wanted to be and what I’ve become. I can’t say it’s for the best or the worst, but most everyone seems happy with the end product.

The only thing certain to me anymore is that I can’t return. Life’s too short and I’ve squandered more than most deserve.

Whenever there is a reaching down into innermost experience, into the nucleus of the personality, most people are overcome by fear and many run away… The risk of inner experience, the adventure of the spirit, is in any case alien to most human beings. The possibility that such experience might have psychic reality is anathema to them.

- Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections

The bird cage is open and it’s time to fly.

technorati tags:gregarious+narain, greg+narain, personal+growth

I’ve been radio silent for the past couple of weeks, taking a much needed rest and some useful time away from the computer. The New Year is upon us now and there’s so much hope and anticipation for what’s to come. While we never truly know what will happen or how long we’ll have, there’s always those things we would like to do.

I’m starting this year off with a simple post, the things I would like to accomplish this year. My hopes are that by giving them room to breathe a bit, I might find some co-conspirators in the process. I will attempt to add these items to the sidebar and will track them as best I can. Wish me luck.

I have no idea how far I will get in these pursuits this year, if ever. I’m trying to work out a system with myself that gives me some time and resources to poor into each project. Only time will tell if it all works.

Since I don’t value any one more than the other, I’ll list things in the order they were dreamed up. Here’s something of a road map:

Book: Quit Fighting (coming Q4)

Many, many years ago, after having a rough break up with a long-term girlfriend, I was frustrated at how quickly conversation can devolve when we’re angry. While studying in school, we often looked at the role of anger in our lives and the power of language to change the nature of a situation.

As I could best assess the problem, it was hard to come to a “conclusion” when both sides relied on their friends for support – and affirmation. Our fights tend to quickly become polarized into the camps that we set up tent in.

I was inspired, if that’s the right term, to see if there might be a way to turn these disagreements into something more positive – a source of learning. Quit Fighting was born. The basic premise is that by allowing us to ask a third party for advice and guidance, we might be able to see a new perspective. Now, I”m not quite supporting arbitrage here – we’re using the wisdom of crowds in this scenario. Of course, I recognize there’s an opportunity for this to quickly turn into the online version of the Jerry Springer Show, but maybe it’s worth it.

The book will be a compilation of the most common issues that arise, follow-up with the parties involved, and excerpts from the suggestions provided by other contributors to the site with the same name.

Origination Date: November 1999

Book: Fight the Pessimist (coming Q3)

If there ever was a passion that I’ve had, it’s forentrepreneurship. Most people assume that entrepreneurs are in it forthe money. I know that’s the case for many, but respectfully, I willsay that many, if not most, of the people I know that manage their ownship also have a great passion for their work.

I’ve been blessed to be able to pursue the dreamsI have – it’s a freedom most never truly get to relish. That beingsaid, I believe that experience must be shared for it to be maximized. For some time now, I’ve been working and speaking with a number ofdifferent entrepreneurs not as a consultant but as a supporter. Thepath of independence is riddled with traps and other perils and ittakes a lot out of you to stay the course.

The idea for this book originated with my friend Dennis Galbraith. Dennis has always supported my efforts and often encouraged me to sharemy stories. The book will be a reduction of the experiences ofhundreds of entrepreneurs from a central site using a “video diary”model.

Origination Date: November 1999

Book: Quit Filtering (coming Q3)

If you’ve managed to catch me drinking some night (that’s a stretch, but work with me), I’ve probably relayed to you my unifying theory of relationships. You can go back as far as several Beercasts on the topic, to get more insight.

The original idea for this book came from reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink. At the time, I was fortunate enough to be given an early copy of the book for review/editing. As I read the book, and considered many of the examples, I also tied this back to my work with the Spark Card and generally to my interest in relationships.

Origination Date: December 2004

Site: SocialRoots.com (coming Q1)

If there’s any one thing that drives me crazy, it’s the lack of launch over at SocialRoots. The basic concept of the SocialRoots Marketplace has been around for close to a year and a half. It’s seem more than its share of refinement over the last year but now the model, and need, is certainly locked in.

I’ve invested tons of time and money already and we’re closing in on the last segment to make the thing happen as desired. I’m still actively seeking a CTO to lead the technical side of things (I am more inclined to avoid technical things lately). If you are that sort of person, let me know.

Origination Date: September 2005

Site: FirstSaid.com (coming Q2)

My closest friends know one thing – I love my nieces and nephews. I was blessed with a total of 3 nephews and 4 nieces. Unfortunately, I was quite young when the first four were born so I didn’t enjoy the experience nearly a much as I could have.

These last few years, I’ve been given the gifts of Brandon, Kaitlin, and Joshua. When I moved to San Francisco, I definitely felt sadness knowing I would miss out on seeing them and hearing them on a daily basis – I lived upstairs from the first two.

As I traveled more and more, I realized that I was calling home often just to see if they had done anything new or said something funny. As a proud uncle, I missed not getting to experience it all first hand. Of course, this was a cause for inspiration.

FirstSaid.com will be a place for parents to capture those precious, and often funny, moments of their child’s life so they can later torture them at family get togethers. More importantly, it will make it possible for people like me, who can’t be around as often as we like, to stay in touch with those rapidly evolving lives.

Origination Date: July 2006

Experiment: Stranger Day (coming Q1)

For the last several years, I have had one personal goal: Speak to at least one stranger per day. Ironically enough, most people would assume me to be, well, gregarious and outgoing to a fault. Truth be told, I’m usually quite shy in a lot of circumstances. A long time ago, however, I realized that shyness was not my friend and that if I wanted to excel at the things I had chosen, I needed to be ready, willing, and capable to engage people without notice. To that end, I have worked to build that “muscle” if you will – it’s true you can train your self away from reclusiveness.

Conversation is a surprisingly difficult thing to master. We tend to be a bit imbalanced – either demanding more attention or not taking enough. My first experiment, Beercasting, was a look at the power of conversation amongst friends and strangers. The show was designed around topics devised to spark conversation. I’m quite happy with the results, though I don’t miss the rigor of the apparatus.

Several months ago, I moved to San Francisco. I was embarking on a new phase of my life and thought there was no better way to memorialize this even than to keep a journal (blog, if you will). One idea that quickly came to mind was to document the encounters I had on a daily basis – considering that I had never attempted to do so before. After sharing the details of this project with some friends, I was surprised to find that more and more people wanted to do it as well. Perhaps, I was on to something.

To date, there are more than 40 people who have verbally committed. To what, you might ask? To meeting new people on a daily basis. The first leg of the experiment will be centered around San Francisco – since I’m here :) Participants will receive a daily e-mail with their topics. They will then have to find a stranger to converse with and capture the results – in text, photos, audio, or video – at their own Stranger Day blog. All answers will be collated, much as they were in Beercasting so individuals can explore topics of interest.

I’m in the process of putting the code together. That being said, I am seeking sponsors and participants alike. I would like to begin the experiment in February or March 2006.

Origination Date: October 2006

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Of course, all of this comes outside of my already existing commitments, client work and slowly emerging personal life.  Naturally, I’ll still be the ringleader for the bub.blicio.us crowd, pushing buttons and spilling drinks.

An exciting year, for sure.  Gotta run, the clock’s already ticking.

technorati tags:greg+narain, socialroots, new+years+resolutions, sparkcasting, beercasting

Quick update. We’ve finalized our postcard for the Bastard Christmas Party.. here it is for your viewing pleasure:

There are a few things I think worth pointing out about the party:

• Monday – yes, indeed our party is on a Monday. You’ve had your day of rest and now it’s time to get out there and shake, shake, shake. Sure you’ve got work tomorrow, but has that ever stopped you before? Don’t mind that 9pm marker – we’re gonna blow right past that.
• bub.blicio.us – This is indeed the pre-launch party for bub.blicio.us. There will probably be one more before the official party, but that’s just the way things work – ok.
• Brian Solis’ Birfday – Our good friend Brian’s birfday is actually this Friday, but considering how busy things are this time of year, we’re bundling up parties.
• Gregarious – For those who are in regular contact with me, you know that my little buddy James Yu willfully applied the label gregarious to me a few weeks ago. After some thought and reflection, the name has really grown on me. How much? Well, it very well may be my real name. To celebrate my decision, we’ll also be kicking off the Age of Gregarious (as Anthony coined it).
• DJ Spin Off – I’ve had this idea that there are a few songs I’d love to hear mixed. Usually, you can hear only the popular things, but, fortunately, knowing the DJ does increase your odds of something new. I’m offering a bounty to our DJ partners to mix a song – chosen by us – into the night’s sound stream. The best mix wins. If you’ve got suggestions, pop them in the comments and we’ll elect the official song for the evening.

technorati tags:bastard+christmas, bubblicious, brian+solis, greg+narain, anthony+grant

I’m sitting on what must be the most uncomfortable, pitiful excuse for a chair known to man at JFK in the JetBlue terminal. I’ve been up all night – we got a later than usual start to Thanksgiving this year (think 10pm) and I got dropped off straight to the airport without much time to prepare in between.

Most of my family hasn’t been fully dialed in that I am no longer living in New York – it’s a big clan. They’re also not aware of many other significant changes that have happened in my life over the past few months, but that’s a whole different story.

Life is a lot like packing. Most of us spend all of our lives collecting all sorts of things that we really feel we need – the things we can’t live without. We never give much thought to what really matters except in times of extreme panic or tragedy. It’s often the hardest thing to simply appreciate what you have right in front of you – sometimes it takes 2500 miles to even know you had it at all. In the end, we don’t need all that stuff – just a handful.
Being back briefly this time, it makes me realize just how small that handful really can be. For me, it was getting picked up by my brother on Monday night, playing with my nephew and taking him to the bus on Tuesday, watching Blue Man on Tuesday night, and singing and dancing like nobody’s business on Wednesday night with the best collection of friends I could ever have asked for. Sure not everyone could make it, but then again, neither can I. Thursday was ringing sales at the mom’s ice cream shop and lounging around with my cousins – something that we only recently began doing but that really is nice.

The trip ended, much as it began. A quick ride with my brother (younger this time) to the airport and some reflection on things past and things to come. I try not to compare life in New York and life in San Francisco – they’re so utterly different any comparison is unjust.

I’m heading home in an hour. Home – I like the way that sounds, wherever it may be.

Last week disappeared into thin air. I was jamming away quite intently from early Sunday morning into late Tuesday afternoon, until I got the call. My older brother rang me to let me know that my aunt (dad’s sister) had passed away in her sleep early that morning. At first I wasn’t sure how to process that information.

My family is tremendously large (49 first cousins on the one side). There were 7 brothers and sisters in total and another one passes away every couple of years. There’s just 2 left now. My cousins and I joke, ironically enough, that the only time we ever see each other is when someone passes away – really a shame considering how much I enjoy seeing them all. On the other hand, we’re also all very separate from each other. I’m the second youngest of the lot and the only one in the Internet-thing. All that distance, unfortunately, cuts lots of the closeness families tend to have.

For a while, I seriously debated if I should go at all. After calling all of my aunt’s kids, I tried to find a way out there. It wasn’t easy and at first glance I actually gave up on the trip. After talking with a friend about how I might make it out there, I also came to the conclusion that I wanted to be there. It’s too easy, too often, to just not do the right thing, to betray our instincts.
So Wednesday morning, I was on a plane to New York. For most of the trip I slept, but then found myself awake for 3 hours, wondering how the flight seemed so long to me now. Of course, the real nuissance was the reality that some day I could be making this same trip for someone very close to me. If there ever was a terrifying part of moving out here, this was what I was living through. Friday morning, it took me 10 hours but I made the long trip back to “home”.

I’m glad I went. I’m glad I could offer the same support to my cousins that they gave us when my dad passed away (he was the youngest).

The counter to this life experience has been my move out to San Francisco. Saturday, I crossed the one month milestone. I’m not fully here, apparently, but I am definitely working on it. Interesting enough, when I first arrived home my sister-in-law commented that she had never seen me so relaxed before. Of course, I’ve been more than busy since being here – both on the business side as well as the social side. Relaxed. Hard to believe but I think I agree.

The Zen Buddhists have an expression – Nirvana is samsara. Roughly speaking, this translates to the concept that heaven is the experience of everyday life, rather than the destination at the end of our journey. I must say that I find myself increasingly embracing this simple mantra as I have embarked on the next phase of my life.

It’s been more than a week since I last posted, so it seems that an update is (at least) in order.

First, thanks to all my friends out there that reached out as I worked through a difficult time.  The road is not settled and I don’t expect it to really go away for some time to come, but I’m making the best of all situations.

As for making the best, I made a very big decision last Monday.  After 31 solid years in New York, I’m finally saying goodbye to my home.  I realized when I got off the plane on Monday how happy I suddenly felt – like a weight was lifted and I had arrived at home again.  Perhaps it’s the retreat from a messy situation in New York, perhaps it’s a new journey towards something I’ve always sought – or maybe it’s a lot of both – we’ll see.

At the end of the month, I’m heading to Podcast Expo to join arms with my fellow podcasters for a few days.  From there, I’ll return to New York to see my family, play with the niece and nephew (damn, I’ll miss them the most), and pack my gear.  Stowe, Anthony, and I will be looking for a new apartment up in Portrero Hills (sp?) early next month and if all goes well we’re moving in mid-October or November 1.  Expect a very interesting housewarming!

There’s some other significant announcements, but we’re still wrapping some things before we can talk about it.